Time
For Lia and Girlala…
I want to buy time
For the dolls who realize when they are young
And are bullied
And are litigated
And are shoved
into lockers and closets
I want to buy time
If the world wants to cannibalize their humanity
At least let me buy them time
For them to emerge from the shell of childhood
And the rigors of youth
For their brains to slow down
And for them to realize that there is freedom
There is joy
You just need time
Let me buy it for you!
Buy it from the bullying parents!
From our phobic government!
From the Christian bigots!
All the latter wants is money
All the former wants is a false promise to know they didn’t fail
Let me buy time
I want to pay God
But I only see Her on the Cross
Because I know She is with you in your suffering
She will always embrace you
But how will you know
If you do not have time?
The Part of My Body HRT Helped the Most
The part of my body HRT helped the most
Was not my breasts
(regrettably)
Or my butt
(It shrunk!)
Or my face
(Still love it)
The part of my body HRT helped the most was my shoulders
You see
When I was a man
I would often get depressed
Or anxious
Or afraid
And I would bunch my shoulders up to my neck
Holding a merciless tension in the upper part of my body
I don't know why
Kinesiology can surely explain
But it felt like a defense mechanism
From a world that expected
Wanted
Needed me
To be something I was not
Tough, rugged, masculine
And so I bunched my shoulders
To show that I could
When I allowed myself to become a girl
I hated my shoulders
I always wanted a small, lithe compact body
And that is not what I have
But one day, I slapped a patch on my abdomen
And many days later, I realized
I was not bunching my shoulders
Because at last, I was letting go of who I was not
And loving who I am
And now I love my shoulders
And they love me back
Because they can rest
From a job they did not want
The part of my body HRT helped me the most was my shoulders
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